They say unconditional love raises our vibration. That on a normal day, we don't walk around with a heighten awareness, but that maybe, just maybe, the right person will bring that glow out. 2018 has been the first year in my life that I have felt that glow. And what a welcome feeling it is after the emotional pandemonium I experienced last year. Changes at home, in friendships, and with the dysfunctional political situation that is a continuing cycle. TBH… I went into the first two weeks of January feeling demoralized and freaking emotionally/physically exhausted still. But I realized something about the New Year. I realized it was, for me, a really good time to wipe the slate clean and move forward with my life. I was healing and it was time to reset. I thought to myself, even after everything, I wanted to and I needed to reflect. I wanted to feel some gratitude towards that time in my life, no matter what. So, I did that and it ended up testing my personal strength. I fell apart a few times, but I always chose to rebuild myself. I became a bit more honest with myself and I saw (some of) my personal flaws very clearly for the first time. I realized I still have a lot to learn about humans, which is funny because I am an anthropologist. Here I was thinking I knew as much as I needed to… (Which on the other hand, is probably because I’m a Virgo.) Something funny started to happen after that. I made a vision board and then I set goals for myself. And a few things manifested, I got my website up, I started making new amazing friends, and I found out I believe in forever-crazy about you-love. And this is where Yannick makes his grand entrance into my life, just like all the romantic movies. I was working at the museum and I saw him in the front lobby. Now… there are a lot of people who walk through Balboa Park everyday and I never look twice, but I couldn’t help but stare at this man. He was Gorgeous, and yes it’s with a capital G. I went up to Yannick, we had introductions, and we started to talk. I started to get nervous, and I knew it wasn’t just my lunch digesting or something. My left armpit always gets really sweaty and my crystal stick wears off extra easily when I’m having a nervy b. I politely excused myself, making some excuse about having to get back to my desk to wrap up my workday. He asked me to grab a drink when I was off my shift, and after “checking my calendar” (to seem aloof and cool) I accepted his offer. The rest is history and since then I have happily built a life with someone I consider my friend and the best lover in the world. I have trust in someone for the first time. Yannick completely loves me, is kind, and is honest with me. He’s made me feel like I can be my absolute truest self, and that I know I am truly loved for exactly who I am. With him life often feels effortless, we share similar perspectives that make our lives and personal goals mesh together. And most importantly, we both know we want to be together — no matter what. There are no games or rollercoaster rides on our commitment and love for one another. It is such a simple thing that means so much. For a long time I really believed I’d never be married, have children, or do any of the traditional things. I never thought I’d trust someone enough to make those commitments. I guess that’s the funny connection between trust and love. You have to be willing to trust in someone to love them. I never understood how intertwined those two were until recently. If I was to give my unsolicited advice on love, I’d say beware feelings of jadedness and fear. Embrace them when they come but keep your heart open to the possibility of things working out for you. All you have to do is believe!! (cue Disney music.) Thank you Harini for these amazing photos. Everyone follow her on instagram @harinisaphotography PS. Yannick, I love you. I can’t wait to continue creating our legacy together.
1 Comment
I am BLESSED YALL. Months ago when I decided to rebuild my brand from scratch, I can admit I was nervous and uncertain. Everything about my self esteem was rocky at that point but I was slowly rebuilding and beginning to see myself in a new light. It really all began when I was in London last December and took a hard look at myself. It was the first quiet moment I had, had in the months post my break up and the consecutive fall out after. It was in that moment that I had my Britney Spears 2007 moment and went to a hair salon. I said CHOP IT OFF AND MAKE ME BLONDE. Mentally I wasn’t at my best, but... little did I know that, that one move was going to kick start a fire in me. I have always experimented with my looks but I never knew that one haircut and some time away could transform my life. Since then things have been a whirlwind. I began my website and went through my Instagram... It was a visual representation of everything I'd done right and the things i'd been misguided on. Slowly I started picking apart my life from the past two years and began erasing, with clear intention, the pieces that no longer fit. And with those few decision, I completely fell into my own. At the speed of light everything I had wanted manifested into my life. An amazing new roommate, new friends (who are so full of empathy, love, and motivation) and a meaningful and beautiful new romance, all which fell into my lap in a matter of weeks. I also began traveling every weekend again, a habit that brings me so much joy. I started to remember who I was again, and through going to events, networking, and most importantly meeting strong and badass women, I just felt positive and good. The transformation was both visual and spiritual and I knew it was in work, when people around me started to vocalize that they noticed. At at one event in particular, I was introduced to Christina. Hilarious, beautiful, and sweet (and a hell of a force to be reckoned with.) We connected after over instagram and I started to read her blog www.growwitheflow.com. I suggest checking it out (seriously go... but wait until after you finish reading this post.) She is an entrepreneur focused on travel that bring women of all backgrounds together. Her company is called Wildflower tours, and here’s the best part: I GOT TO ATTEND THE FIRST GETAWAY. I was so excited to connect with the other women attending the trip. Everything was planned for us, I received the itinary and was like.. woah! We gathered together on Friday night in our suite at the Hyatt Palm Springs, and set out our intentions for the weekend. This is when I went... DAMN the women here are AMAZING! We had Christina of course, then Taylor, the hilarious, real AF, hottie beauty blogger, and creator of California Bloggers, a community of creatives and professionals in California. Next, Kenesha, a style maven, slayin' model, stylist, and recent East Coast to West Coast transplant. Then Carmen, a badass, "quit-my-job- cause i'm a boss ass bitch" and laugh-out-loud funny cutie. And last, but not least Kayla, gorgeous, sweet, and motivated chica, who... did i mention? used to be a fucking Marine! OVERALL this was a group of educated, sassy, sweet, and funny women. I was like hells...YESSSSSS, my people! Saturday can be described as a tornado of fun. And I need to give a shout out to all of the amazing sponsors from our weekend away. The Palm Springs Aerial Tramway, Suja Juice, Health-Ade Kombucha, Rebbl Organics, Justins Nut Butter, That’s It Fruit Bars, Holl & Lane Magazine, Ritual Energy, Wild Hearts and Halos, Paru Tea & Coola! And a special shout out to Notch and Fletch jewelry www.notchandfletch.com for setting me up and making sure I was all beautiful for this trip. Photo: Myself wearing Mini Hula Earrings with Sleeping Beauty Turquoise and a New Lander Stacking Ring. OVERALL WILDFLOWER TOURS GETS A 10/10 REVIEW and I can't wait till the next one......... I leave you all with some photos. and in the words of Tay "See Ya" |