They say unconditional love raises our vibration. That on a normal day, we don't walk around with a heighten awareness, but that maybe, just maybe, the right person will bring that glow out.
2018 has been the first year in my life that I have felt that glow.
And what a welcome feeling it is after the emotional pandemonium I experienced last year. Changes at home, in friendships, and with the dysfunctional political situation that is a continuing cycle.
TBH… I went into the first two weeks of January feeling demoralized and freaking emotionally/physically exhausted still. But I realized something about the New Year. I realized it was, for me, a really good time to wipe the slate clean and move forward with my life. I was healing and it was time to reset.
I thought to myself, even after everything, I wanted to and I needed to reflect. I wanted to feel some gratitude towards that time in my life, no matter what.
So, I did that and it ended up testing my personal strength. I fell apart a few times, but I always chose to rebuild myself. I became a bit more honest with myself and I saw (some of) my personal flaws very clearly for the first time. I realized I still have a lot to learn about humans, which is funny because I am an anthropologist. Here I was thinking I knew as much as I needed to… (Which on the other hand, is probably because I’m a Virgo.)
Something funny started to happen after that. I made a vision board and then I set goals for myself. And a few things manifested, I got my website up, I started making new amazing friends, and I found out I believe in forever-crazy about you-love.
And this is where Yannick makes his grand entrance into my life, just like all the romantic movies. I was working at the museum and I saw him in the front lobby. Now… there are a lot of people who walk through Balboa Park everyday and I never look twice, but I couldn’t help but stare at this man. He was Gorgeous, and yes it’s with a capital G. I went up to Yannick, we had introductions, and we started to talk. I started to get nervous, and I knew it wasn’t just my lunch digesting or something. My left armpit always gets really sweaty and my crystal stick wears off extra easily when I’m having a nervy b.
I politely excused myself, making some excuse about having to get back to my desk to wrap up my workday. He asked me to grab a drink when I was off my shift, and after “checking my calendar” (to seem aloof and cool) I accepted his offer.
The rest is history and since then I have happily built a life with someone I consider my friend and the best lover in the world. I have trust in someone for the first time.
Yannick completely loves me, is kind, and is honest with me. He’s made me feel like I can be my absolute truest self, and that I know I am truly loved for exactly who I am. With him life often feels effortless, we share similar perspectives that make our lives and personal goals mesh together. And most importantly, we both know we want to be together — no matter what. There are no games or rollercoaster rides on our commitment and love for one another. It is such a simple thing that means so much.
For a long time I really believed I’d never be married, have children, or do any of the traditional things. I never thought I’d trust someone enough to make those commitments. I guess that’s the funny connection between trust and love. You have to be willing to trust in someone to love them. I never understood how intertwined those two were until recently.
If I was to give my unsolicited advice on love, I’d say beware feelings of jadedness and fear. Embrace them when they come but keep your heart open to the possibility of things working out for you. All you have to do is believe!! (cue Disney music.)
Thank you Harini for these amazing photos. Everyone follow her on instagram @harinisaphotography
PS. Yannick, I love you. I can’t wait to continue creating our legacy together.